canadiancomment

Our opinions and advice to the world. Updated whenever we get around to it.

Monkey Update

I'm back on the topic of monkeys. Dennis Miller is going to be getting his own show on CNBC. Check out the rants on his homepage. This weeks is a keeper. Anyone who can make a reasoned argument about why the wheel has caused all of humanities problems has got his stuff together:

You know, I think this whole convenience thing started with the wheel. Before that crazy gizmo came along people didn't expect anything to be convenient. Once we were happy in our dank little caves, until we were able to use the wheel to see that others had caves that were bigger and weren't filled with as much bat guano as ours. With the wheel came envy, a lowering of our self-esteem, and greed. Fuck you wheel.
Anyways back to my original point of Dennis and his new TV show. Dennis on President Bush:
"I like him," Miller explained. "I'm going to give him a pass. I take care of my friends."

Miller is a familiar figure from his years on "Saturday Night Live," HBO and "Monday Night Football," but he will be in a different role on his daily show that debuts 9 p.m. EST Monday.

This is the Miller who has appeared at fund-raisers for Bush, ridden with the president on Air Force One, sat in the gallery at last week's State of the Union speech and was even talked about as a Republican senatorial candidate in California.

His fans didn't necessarily know that Miller. Now they do.

"Nine-11 changed me," he said. "I'm shocked that it didn't change the whole country, frankly."
And what does all of this have to do with monkeys... well sit down before you read this:
The show will feature interviews, a rant on a selected topic, a "Weekend Update"-like comic newscast and a pundit panel he calls "The Varsity."

And a monkey.

You read that right. Miller wanted a simian presence, believing a monkey occasionally scampering across the studio floor will keep both guests and viewers on their toes, he said.
Dennis Miller, a big G.W. fan, and a monkey? So not only do monkeys now have a significant control over the internet, totally out of proportion to their numbers but they also have a presence on a prime-time news channel.

So does the theory in my previous post concerning the Monkey cabal secretly controlling G.W. seem so far fetched? I think not.