Saddam's Latest Book

As mentioned in Bob's last post, found on Saddam was a draft copy of his latest book 'Saddam's Guide to Living in Iraq on a Tight Budget'. Some of his suggestions include:

Save on housing costs by living in small hole.

Caviar, fine wine, and Cuban cigars can put a severe dent in trying to meet your budgeting target. Instead feast on squirrel and rain water. Smoking is a bad habit so smoking is out of the question when living on a tight budget.

Razors are expensive so let your beard grow out. Not only will you save money on razors but it will keep you warm on those cold lonely nights.

If your budget prevents you from purchasing the foods you are used to eating, surrending to the Americans may be an economical choice. I hear those guys at Guantanamo eat like kings!

The American restaurants provide excellent savings opportunities through their coupon programs. Collecting coupons is a must for the minimalist living amongst the capitalist pigs. In many cases you can eat one meal and get a free meal for the road.

Do not beg for food in Basra. This cannot be emphasized enough!

When in need of medical attention American doctors can't be beat.

Raising a family can be very expensive in this day and age. Eliminating them Encouraging them to strike out on their own is a great way to save money.

Crafts and handywork are a great way to ease stress and to save money at the same time. Do home repairs yourself. American TV is great for those looking for great home improvement ideas. As well crafts are a great way to spice up your home and to add that personal touch.

Gold-plated toilets are out of the question when living on a tight budget.

Buying off France to save your ass is not a good investment decision.

Do not keep your hard earned cash laying around in the open. Americans will surely come up with some silly reason to claim it is 'dirty money' so that they can confiscate it. Dirty money! What the hell!

Stray animals will walk away with any food you have left lying around. To prevent this eat all food immediately and store the rest in a cool dry place.

This will surely be a must read for those American colonists who will soon be moving to Iraq. On sale soon at a bookstore near you.